From the Drafts: On The General State of Things 5.7.20

I need to find a way to structure how I approach “the world in general” right now. I don’t want to be silent. It is impossible for me to write or speak or even think about the world around me without coming at it from 5+ different angles. This is making it incredibly difficult to write, speak and think right now.

It’s not my place to scream, but I feel like it. I am overwhelmed by the news, which is an absolute privilege of my being a white, middle class, fairly well educated women in a society that does favor myself and my lifestyle.

“pandemic-racism-politics-hurricane season-presidential election-local election-police brutality-people in need-wealth redistribution-power redistribution-activism-safety-health-pandemic-racism-politics-ahhhhh…”

I want to process instead of spiraling. I think about it as mental blinders, there to keep me somewhere between healthy outrage and a disgusted depression. I have manic depression, and while fits of manic behavior can be useful in rage cleaning my home at 2 am, it does not lend itself to responsible action.

I am making an effort to look at how I use my money, time, energy, thoughts and voice and make them mirror what I stand for. For now that’s what I’ll do.

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